


Skirt

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Drunk Sex, Forced Crossdressing, M/M, Sarcasm, Social Justice, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-12 01:52:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7079824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beware the non-sober curse. Some booze can turn into some not very serious literary commentary. Some not very serious literary commentary can turn into a story maybe one wouldn't want to share with their friends or family at the dinner table.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

How to end a phone conversation?  
How to stop oneself from babbling on and on at 2 AM?  
How to stop asking questions and focus on a conversation so as not to say something stupid from slight alcohol intoxication due to drinking at a surrisingly okay party?

"Has anyone ever told you to grow your hair out?"  
"It's already long. What're you talking about?"  
Alfred sighed in playful annoyance, and replied, "Clearly not what I meant. Grow it out longer!" "Like a... stereotypical blonde California beach girl."  
They sat in silence.  
"Yeah!"  
"Really, Al? That's a lot of shampoo to use. Sure, I could grow it out a little more, but just past shoulder length is enough. Not all the way down the back."  
"You'd still look and fight like a girl, though, Mattie."  
"I've beaten your ass in war and I'll do it again, Al. Bite me."  
"Boooo. Can't take a joke, can you? What, is this PMS? You aaaare a girl, Mattie."  
A click.  
"Mattie? Maaaatheeeeew?"  
Last Alfred checked, Matthew was still at the bar five minutes away. Three minutes and thirty nine seconds later, Matthew showed up ar Alfred's apartment, announcing, "That's it. Sorry, but Imma beachyer ass, buddy boy."  
"Booooo."  
Matthew stepped in.  
"Where's your Scrabble set?"  
"You can't even spell 'color' right, Mattie. Wait, no. 'Colooouuur'. And you're drunk. Scrabble would just be sad."  
"It's not my problem that you're just plain uneducated."  
"Uneducated? Excuuuse you! I'll have you know I'm amazing at Englishing! I'm, like, a conosour of literature. It is youuu, who cannot English and who is uneducated."  
"What? Can you hear yourself?"  
"You're just jealous because you're not 'sivilized' like me! Ha, ha, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, biatch!"  
"What the shit? You totally didn't read that right if you think it's good to be 'sivilized' like that in the book."  
Alfred stuck his tongue out at Matthew.  
"And didn't you ban that book?" Matthew asked. "What, me? Fuck no! Good books is good books! It wasn't me! Oh, wait, did I tell you? I was reading this with Hungary a while back, fuck knows why, and she comes up with this grand idea that the reason why Huck cares so much about Tom's approval and actually reverses some of his character development is because he just wants to impress Tom because Huck's in love with Tom," Alfred said, nodding his head, "Freaky shit... freaky shit."  
"What?"  
"Also, she said she thinks Huck is bigender." "Why?" asked Matthew, completely distracted by the randomness of these new interjections. "Because Huck dresses up as a girl!"  
"So what? You can dress up as a girl and still call yourself a boy! Crossdressing doesn't have anything to do with gender identity, rude fuck."  
"You're the rude fuck, rude fuck!"  
"Screw you, Alfred."  
"Go hump a camel!"  
"Your face is bad!"  
"Your nose is smallish, and also your dick is a similar size."  
"That's a lie, and you know it! Overcompensating, are we, Al. Huh? Watcha think? Gotta prove to yourself that you're a man by overstuffing your machismo, because your culture of hyper-masculinity actually diminishes and weakens your fragile ego and fragile sense of masculinity?"  
"Holy shit."  
"Is that why you're bitching on Huck and crossdressers now?"  
"I'm not! And aren't you just projecting right now? Is it not... youuuu... who thinks he's got something to prove by diminishing the validity of a masculine gender identity and expression?"  
"As if, rude fuck."  
"Then prove yourself!"  
"What? Why? Prove what?"  
"Prove your masculinity!"  
"I'm not gonna have a dick measuring contest with you, you kinky fuck!"  
"What, just not with me? Oooh, so you think you'll lose!"  
"No! We've been through this!"  
"Blah, blah. Look who's defending his masculinity nooow, huh?"  
"But - you're the one trying to stare at and stidy and measure my dick, Al."  
"I. Um. You still gotta prove yourself!"  
"No I don't."  
"Chicken?!"  
"No!"  
"Then wear a dress!"  
"Wear a dress? Why?! And why do you just have dresses?"  
"It's the perfect way to prove that your masculinity does not rely on your looks! And I have a whole bunch of dresses because France and Germany run rival queer porn websites unbeknownst to each other, so they pay me big money to dress up as a girl. How do you think I can afford an apartment in this part of town?"  
"I want in. So I'm dressing up for me, not for your stupid challenge, dickhead."


	2. Chapter 2

Alfred sped to his room, dragging Matthew behind him, saying, "Sure, pretend you don't like it, you girl."  
"Alfred!"  
They reached Alfred's room, and before Matthew could spew more sarcasm on Alfred, Alfred had already taken out a blue and white number for Matthew, who said, "Holy shit," again and stared at the dress.  
"This is absurd. They know you wear actual navy uniforms and not this... fake dress navy uniform shit, right?"  
"I mean, yes? But that's not sexy enough for the big league of erot-"  
"Shut up. That's enough. I'll wear a dress if you stop talking. Just not this one, okay?"  
"No. Do it. Dooooo iiiiiit!"  
"Why?"  
"This doubly proves your masculinity because it's a play on and a sexualization of war."  
"That's absurd! Actually, no, I guess that's true. Shit."  
"Do it! Don't let yor dreams be dreams!"  
"Oh, fuck you.... Wait. Ew! You dream about this? Pervert! Or maybe you really are a crossdresser and don't want to admit it! Hm?"  
"Oh, shut up!"  
"Wear a dress, too, and then I'll shut up."  
"Fine! I'll wear the matching one."  
"What the everloving fuck do you have two for?"  
"The blue and white is for France's site. The red and white is for Germany's site."  
"Um. Okay?"  
"Anyway, Mattie. Just slip it on. You know we're the same size."  
"It's a little looser on me than it is on you, though, you know."  
"Some of it is muscle! Now shut up and wear the dress!"  
They eventually slipped out of their clothes and into the costumes. Somehow. Amidst all the bickering.  
"How did you learn about the sites, anyway. They both started complaining and I figured out a way to get money. That's it, really."  
"Whatever. I'll just ask you again when you're not drunk. Ans I expect a real answer! Not this whole vague bullshit."  
Alfred stuck his tongue out at Matthew again, an action which Matthew returned this time.  
"I'm still mad at you, asshole."  
"Whatever. You know you like it, Mattie."  
"You keep on saying that. I think it's really you who likes this a little too much."  
"It's because I look good, and I feel good because I get money."  
"Sure. You 'feel good' crossdressing and you still say you don't do it for leisure."  
"It couldn't just be because I look good. I mean, it's not like there's lots of people who look super good in drag. That's dragist and offensive, Mattie."  
"Wait. You're taking offense... oh, shit, you really are a kinky fucker!"  
"Oh, can it. No way!"  
"I was right! No wonder you like the sites."  
"Shut up, Matthew," Alfred tried to say. But Matthew was on a roll.  
"Wait! That's how you know them! You like the crossdressing sections, don't you? Eeeewww!" Matthew continued to tease, "Aren't you just so thrilled to be up there with your stars?" Matthew asked, jokingly, moving closer to Alfred. "Crossdressing gets you haaaaaard, Al. Kinky bastard."  
Alfred moved back, only to find that soon, he had reached the corner of the room. His face flushed, he tried moving aside, growing redder as he bumped into and plopped onto his bed.  
"Shut it, Matthew."  
"Oh, shit! Guess I was right! You know you could have just denied it and I never would have known. I was just joking but I got it right because guess who can't keep his cool! Ha!"  
Alfred replied with a little grunt.  
"It's not like you're any better, Matthew. It seems thinking about me so 'haaaard' isn't too great for you. Pervert. Don't tell me this is about that 'hyper-sexualization of war' shit! You freak, Mattie. Who do you think you are? Germany?"  
"Ew! What the heck does he have on that site?"  
"Shit you wouldn't believe, Mattie?"  
"Shit like this?"  
Matthew pushed Alfred back onto the bed, straddling him.  
"Oh, no. Alfred's getting flustered, eh?"  
"No, shit more like this."  
Alfred rolled on top of Matthew, taking his position, straddling. Alfred bit at Matthew's collarbone, and cupped Matthew's hand in his, scratching Matthew's nails up his thigh, holding on tightly to Matthew's hand and shoulder.  
"It seems Matthew is the one getting... 'flustered', huh?"  
"I knew you were kinky before but using me to hurt yourself is almost sad. You're so desperate."  
"Desperate? Says the one who pushed me on the bed and grinded on me."  
With that, Alfred demonstrated just how desperate they both actually were by then, little noises escaping the both of them.  
"Grind on you? If I were to grind on you like you say," Matthew propped himself up, "I think I would do a little better than that."  
"But, god, let's not just stick to that, Mattie."  
"No way. Let's have some fun," Matthew replied, as Alfred met his lips.  
"This always happens when I'm drunk," Alfred said.  
"Same."  
"Life is rough."  
"It's horrible!"  
Alfred laid Matthew down, running his tongue along Matthew's jawline, leaving lazy kisses in his wake.  
"You know," Alfred said, "you look amazing in a dress." Alfred ran his fingers up from Matthew's knee, playing with the edge of the skirt for a moment.  
"You with these long legs of yours." Really, they sometimes looked to each other and took their bodies in. The muscles that now worked in tandem, the hair that now began to stick to their bodies - all of that was now exposed.  
"Al, it's for times like this that I don't wear underwear. But you're still going too damn slow."  
"Mattie," Alfred slid up his body, hands following Matthew's sides, reaching the straps of the sailor dress, pulling one off, planting sloppy kisses and bites by his shoulder to make some marks he knows they'll later pride themselves on. Matthew moans a bit, but soon grows agitated. Why should he wait?  
"Damnit, Al, I need this to go faster. Oh, god, please."  
"Let me see you. Keep it on."  
Alfred presses a hand under Matthew's neck, the other hand playing with Matthew's nipple. Alfred kisses a trail from his collarbone to his thin, rouge lips, staying there, grinding down on Matthew, kissing him, until they are breathless, and rolls once more, back under Matthew.  
"Mattie," Alfred sighs, "make me feel this."  
Alfred reached up and pulled off the other dress strap, dragging Matthew down by his hair to kiss and lick and bite his ear. As Alfred clasps and grabs at Matthew's hair, Matthew reached up under the dress, scratching the other man's bare ass. He listens to the raw moan that Alfred releases, and can't help but want to hear it again. Matthew began to lift one of the other's blond's legs, and Alfred followed the unheard orders.  
"You want it to hurt so much, eh? But that much?"  
"Mattie. Do it. Just do it already. Please."  
"You asked for it. You got it," Matthew replied, sliding into Alfred. Alfred let out something half a scream and half a moan into his arm to muffle it.  
"Shit!" Alfred cried, trying to slide on Matthew. "Come on!" he ordered the man on top of him. He scratched at Matthew's back almost completely exposed by the dress, leaving thin red lines like pulsing arteries jumping out from the pale canvas. Alfred reminded Matthew in between his pants and cries, "Hair!"  
Alfred curled up a bit, Matthew maintaining a steady rhythm as he accomodated for Alfred's request, moving up to snatch at his partner's hair, yanking at it, grabbing his hips and bruising him. "You're so tight," he told the man under him. Alfred could barely listen to Matthew as he focused on the sensation of being filled and torn apart under Matthew, over and over again as Matthew's swift hips and complying hands brought him closer and closer to what he knew would be ecstasy. Matthew pulled Alfred closer, and nipped at Alfred's neck.  
Matthew whispered into Alfred's ear, in a voice now tired from misuse this night, "looking at you, I know for damn sure I'm not the only who looks sexy in a dress," pulling Alfred's hair one last time, as he felt Alfred give in and finally with a wanton cry.  
Alfred plopped onto the mattress, and brought his attention to Matthew, who he saw was also on the verge. Alfred took Matthew in even deeper, and began to play once more at Matthew's nipples, lowering the dress, licking at the pink nubs, kissing Matthew's chest. All too soon, Matthew came, with a brief but loud exclamation. He remembered where he was after a moment, and fell just to the side of Alfred, who just looked at him, and lied there, thinking about how beautiful Matthew was just then.  
He leaned over and gave Matthew a simple kiss. "The next time you're drunk like this, you know where to find me."  
"Can't argue with that," Matthew replied, leaning over to reinitiate the little kiss that now meant so much more. "Let's deal with this tomorrow. But for now, Alfred, good night."  
"Good night." Alfred threw the covers on them sloppily as they took themselves in each other's arms. Sleep fell soon.


End file.
